User:Buccaneer Blue/Self-Explanations

Here I will give you a way to get to understand me better.

Psychological analysis
As a light and witty person, I fear and loathe tragedy and am prone to having reactions to just the mention of such things. "Well if it's unpleasant, what's the point in talking about it?" I get stuck wondering for years afterwards. After hearing people in real life keep going on about bad things that happened to me for reasons I couldn't understand, I got touchy and easily scarred. Unwilling to face the possibility of negative reinforcement, I became obsessed with prevention, which means me having to see all the possibilities, or at least the worst ones. I have to consider every reaction people might have to my actions, even ones I wouldn't think appropriate. (However, if I verge on being empathetic and even accepting of cruel, selfish people, I definitely need to rethink.)

Too much worry
Having had my sense of proportion confused, I can have difficulty remembering good things or considering them more important than bad things. I always worry that someone might forget something, for instance, but often won't remind them in any way, unable to judge whether it will be helpful or just annoying. It can be hard to determine where all this paranoia comes from, however. It's not as if I'm just easily scared, I mean really, I was introduced to pipe organ music by a monstrous immortal hybrid with a Kraken for a pet and I didn't care. (My guess is that I was just too old for that one when it came out.)  I probably got used to this from living with protectors - as anyone can have or adopt a child and be as hard on it as they want as long as they don't break the law, I constantly treated them as sleeping beasts not to be awakened. However, since admins on wikis obviously had to be nice and good to get their rank and keep it, and anyone who's bad to me can be blocked, I have no reason to be intimidated here, though it'll take me some getting used to.

Sample problems
Part of my unwillingness to have faith in things and people can be attributed to a company I don't wish to name, which I loved and trusted until Christmas 2016, when I got one of their products and it turned out to be defective. Since then, I have looked at their entire product line with extreme fear and distrust, and seemed to have a more bleak view of everything and everyone. It's gone down as life-altering tragedy.

Evidence of the damage became apparent here, where a user page with a button you can click to add a photo and a "My Favorite Pages" section with three preset lines you can fill out is automatically generated for you when you register. I chose to remove these from mine, thinking "Well, I don't have any favorite pages, and I find certain things so ugly that I only look at this site with images disabled (which is why I never upload anything or add pictures to articles in case you were wondering), so it would be pointless for me to add a photo." Up until that fiasco I thought nothing of making this decision. Then I had a strange idea - that I was being ordered to add a photo and name my favorite pages and deleting the slots instead was some sort of criminal offence! Even though it'd been two months and nobody had complained, I dug into unnecessary guilt and added two photos I didn't want to add and have never seen (but still I keep them there to prove I'm not stuck up) and settled on a rather strange selection of favourite pages. (Though really, I like having those easy ways to the recent changes, special pages and deletion log.)  I know, I'm weird. Or at least damaged. I think it's irreversible.